'DYING IS A FACT OF LIFE'
So are funeral fees! The purpose of this blog is to help you say goodbye to your loved one without cranking up funeral bills to £7.000 or more. 'Personal' and 'do-it-yourself' funerals are on the increase as more people become aware of just what is allowable. But how do you go about organising such a funeral? This blog is designed to answer your questions and to show how you can do it for yourself.
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My name is David Patrick Colledge and I am an Independent Funeral Celebrant. A funeral celebrant is someone who is not a religious minister but delivers a 'personalised' funeral service. Simply, this means that the whole of the funeral service is about the life and personality of the deceased. Quite often religious funeral services tend towards precisely that - a religious service with little comment about the one who is being said goodbye to.
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I work very closely with the family of the deceased to ensure that they get exactly the kind of funeral service that is acceptable to all. I will also help to find ways to keep down the increasing costs of a 'traditional funeral.'
For example no law exists that says that you have to organise a funeral through a funeral director; though, most people, rightly, choose to do so. But It is possible for a family to take on all the aspects of a funeral service thus being in complete control. The following is just one example to show what is possible.
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A male musician died in his early forties leaving behind a wife and three adolescent children. He had made it very clear that he did not want a traditional funeral and family and friends agreed that they would take on the organisation of his funeral.
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The deceased remained in the local hospital morgue until the morning of the funeral. A slot of thirty minutes had been booked at the local crematorium chapel. On the morning of the funeral friends and family collected the body from the morgue and transported it to the chapel in a Volvo Estate car owned by a close friend.
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There was no cortege en-route to the crematorium. All attending had been asked to assemble at the chapel in time for the service. The family had visited the chapel two days before hand and with the verger had planned the funeral proceedure.
The chapel alter had been cleared of all religious artefacts and in their place the family displayed photographs, the deceased musical instruments and candles.
The cardboard coffin was lifted from the car by a party of six bearers made up of friends and family. They carried it into the chapel and placed it on the catafaque then took their places in the chapel. The service then consisted of live music played by relatives and the deceased band members.
Several mourners took it in turn to either read a poem or talk about their memories of the deceased and the whole service was brought to an end with the collective singing of the deceased favourite song.
An Independant Celebrant then carried out the committal and on leaving the crematorium, the mourners made their way to the family home where an outdoor wake was held in the garden, enlivened with musicians playing to the memory of the deceased.
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This is a good example of family involvement with the funeral arrangements of someone dearly loved and close to them. The sense of collective involvement
added greatly to the 'personalised' aspect of the service and the financial savings were quite considerable. The obvious benefit of a personalised service is that you get exactly that and a feeling and the knowledge that you have created a suitable and fitting farewell.
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It is a common reaction for the survivers of the deceased to 'want the best' for them. But the best can sometimes mean the most expensive and this does not necessarily mean that it is appropriate or in keeping with the life of the person you are celebrating.
Traditional funerals are increasingly expensive and no one would like to think that their death is going to create a costly bill for the family to deal with. There are ways and means of greatly reducing costs without feeling that you are being a skin flint. Below are more ideas:
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The collective cost of flowers and wreaths can run into hundreds, if not, thousands of pounds. A single coffin wreath can cost upwards of four or five hundred pounds alone. It is only tradition that compells us to buy displays of flowers and wreaths. In their place, why not have a display on the coffin of memorabilia that truly represents the deceased?
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I have seen coffins arrive at their destination covered in fishing rods, baskets and photographs of the deceased proudly showing off their 'catch.'
Keen gardeners have had trowells, plant pots, and all manner of gardening paraphenalia adorning their coffin.
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Many an ex service man or woman have been remembered with displays of berets, medals, union flags etc.
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A keen horsman had his saddle, stirrups, riding crop and hat accompany him to the chapel. There is not limit. The thing to remember here is, if it is fitting to the deceased then it is fitting.
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Other memorabilia witnessed by me includes walking boots and woolen hat; walking stick and dog collar and lead; a smoking pipe, old cardigan, slippers and a quarter bottle of Johnnie Walker whisky; a motor cycle helmet and leather jacket and trousers; a dart board, darts and snooker cue. The list is endless and imaginative!
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Nor is there any reason to hold a service in a chapel or church. One lady who died was a very, very keen gardener and spent almost all of her time in her garden. The funeral service was held in her garden then the coffin was taken to the local crematorium for committal and cremation. The wake was held in her beloved garden and two days later her ashes were strewn in a dedicated place very close to where she sat and relaxed.
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So you see, there really are no limitations to what can be done and research has shown that those who are involved with funeral arrangements, the quicker they come to terms with the death and handle the whole affair in a more positive manner. Certainly they do not leave a service feeling that they have been a member of an audience and very much 'left on the side lines'.
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So, it is possible to be involved in the proceedings either to a greater or lesser level knowing that a funeral service has had your input and the end result is as you desire.
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But what if you do not want any kind of inclusion? What if you prefer to hand it all over to a funeral director?
If this is your desire and that of the deceased then that road is clearly the right one for you. This blog is not anti funeral director. There are many highly professional and caring teams out there and are ameanable to your needs and requests. They will listen to what you say and will carry out your wishes to an exacting level and they are to be commended for their approach. I would be more than happy to suggest an appropriate funeral director to you. I work with many funeral directors and am glad to do so.
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HOW TO CONTACT ME.
I am presently based in Leicester but am happy to travel anywhere in the country.
I can be contacted on my landline number:
0116 2244655:
mobile 07944 63 79 68:
visit my other blog sites at:
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Please feel free to contact me on any aspect concerning my services as a funeral celebrant or involvement with a funeral service or a recommendation to a funeral director in your area.
Thank you for visiting my blog and I hope that it has been of use and informative.
David Patrick Colledge. M.A.
